Matthew 3: 13-17, Genesis 37: 3-4, Ephesians 1: 3, Psalm 139: 13, Romans 8: 28-29

Glyn Barrett

We all have a Father; whether he was present, absent, abusive, ignorant, selfish or loving - we all have one. I was blessed enough to have a good Dad who became a Father figure to many. I remember my best friend's eulogy on the day of my Father's funeral; 'Bryn Barrett was my Dad. My real Dad was never around; to him I was more of a problem than I was worth. Bryn showed me a different way of life. I saw what family life could be; I found a model, and mentor. Because he showed me something different, I can model something different to my children. My kids will have a real Dad because of him. Thanks Bryn, I'll miss you!'

In the Bible there is something called the 'Paternal Blessing' and it's the powerful underlying knowledge - somewhere in it all - that 'we are ok with Dad.' If it is not received we can go through our whole lives trying to achieve the blessing that we missed. The power of the 'Paternal Blessing' can be seen throughout the Bible. Matthew 3: 13-17 describes to us the moment when Jesus receives the 'Paternal Blessing' on the day of his baptism:

'As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased'.

At this point Jesus' public ministry had not yet begun, showing that the 'Paternal Blessing' is not based on the approval of achievement but that it is based on who we are. The blessing gives favour so that the son can feel the Father's support, enabling him to fulfill his calling and purpose. In Genesis 27 Jacob tricks his Father, Isaac, into giving him Esau's blessing. Esau was distraught, not because of the loss of his inheritance, but because of the loss of blessing - His 'Paternal Blessing.' Without this blessing Esau sensed an inability to fulfill his calling.

My children love the Disney Movie 'The Prince of Egypt' which is based on the story of Moses. In the story Rameses, the son of Pharaoh, is called the 'weakest link in the chain' by his Father. Sadly throughout the whole story we see Rameses make decisions based on living in the shadow of what his Father had labeled him - as he desperately tried to obtain the 'Paternal Blessing' we all yearn for. The truth is we all live under our Father's shadow and although a shadow may not be able to touch us, we can feel its affects. Whether we had a Father or not, we all live as a result of our Father's influence - it is often our disappointment or sense of blessing given that determines our confidence, self worth, ability to love, forgiveness and sexuality in life. It is often our relationship with our earthly Father that determines the way in which we see and interact with our heavenly Father.

I remember the day that I received the 'Paternal Blessing' from my Father. When I was a young man I felt a great pressure on me to follow in his footsteps as a minister. Amongst all this pressure, I remember my Father sitting with me and saying he would by happy if I swept the streets or preached to thousands. What I realized is that the 'Paternal Blessing' is given as approval based on WHO I am and not what I DO.

However, there are a number of blessings that sons and daughters can find themselves subject to, blessings that can be wrongfully given in life and that can shape the way we live:

The 'Spotlight' Blessing

In the same way as a spot light is used on a stage to illuminate one person, a 'Spotlight' blessing in a family does the same. This blessing favours one person and not others, it creates rivalry and hatred. The story of Joseph and his brother in Genesis 37 is an example of a 'Spotlight' blessing.

'Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age; and he made a richly ornamented robe for him. When his brothers saw that their Father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him' (Genesis 37: 3-4).

Israel (Jacob) unfairly gave Joseph the blessing that should have, by right, been given to his eldest son. He highlighted Joseph, broke tradition and made a statement that said to his other sons 'You are not good enough.'

The result of this 'Spotlight' blessing is that Joseph was thrown into a well. This blessing is unfair, both to the child and their siblings. This blessing happens today in families, it eliminates one child and can cause them to be an outcast amongst their siblings. In Joseph's life it creates jealous brothers (or sisters!) that, through their Father's behaviour towards a sibling, have been told 'You are not good enough' and they therefore throw their 'Joseph' into a well - a pit of disconnection and lack of forgiveness.

The 'Never Good Enough' Blessing

This blessing is like the carrot to the donkey - it is dangled just in front of you, but never within your reach. It is a blessing that always drives you forward, but never lets you obtain it. It really hurts when you are told - verbally or through actions - that your best is just not good enough. It creates an environment that says 'what you DO is more important than WHO you are,' and is totally performance driven.