Emily Graves spoke with Philippa-Jo Dobson about pregnancy, birth and recovering from miscarriage

Emily: When you just said about immersing yourself in love, in God's love, what does the outworking of that look like?

Philippa-Jo: For me, I have a really personal relationship with God. What that looks like practically is just spending time, usually when I'm in my bed, lying down and meditating on who he is, or just picturing Jesus in my mind's eye and having a conversation with him and feeling his presence and feeling him in the room and connecting with who he is.

Emily: What practical advice would you give to someone who has gone through a miscarriage?

Philippa-Jo: I think letting yourself grieve is the biggest thing. For miscarriage and certainly if it's early miscarriage, it's very quickly swept under the carpet. Some women wouldn't have even told anyone that they were pregnant and you shut down those emotions very quickly and try and hide away with a stiff-upper-lip resolve; but actually it is a place where you have lost a baby. Although you never got to meet them they were still your child and obviously from a Christian perspective we believe those children are now in heaven. I have heard some beautiful stories of women who have released balloons on the due date of whatever colour that they thought the baby would be, blue or pink, or they've named the baby. I think that is really important for some women who need to grieve and close that door to what's happened.

Emily: So looking back, where do you see God in this as a Christian?

Philippa-Jo: Well through the whole thing, really. He's been my comfort throughout. Certainly through walking through be it healthy or non-healthy pregnancies, he's a support system. Some people say he's a crutch and I'm ok with that. He is a good crutch to have around. He has everything in him; life in all its fullness. If we can rely on him through the nine months intense period that can have ups and downs emotionally and hormonally, then we can get through it because he wants us to succeed. His plan was for us to have children and there's no reason why we can't do that well.

Emily: Does God really care about the details of pregnancy?

Philippa-Jo: Yeah absolutely. I think we can sometimes have a view that Jesus and God, especially God the Father, is really far away and really detached from what's going on and only interested in the huge topics and the huge issues. For me personally I know him to be a really personal God and really interested in the details; for instance from my own testimony, I was having a home birth with my first daughter and I happened to be in a hospital waiting room for an appointment. I saw a midwife I had never seen before chatting with another pregnant women and in my head I just thought, "Oh, she's so lovely, I would really love her to be at my birth," she just had such a lovely manner about her. It wasn't a prayer, it was just a distant thought in my head, but it was sort-of a heartfelt desire. Halfway through my labour at home, I already had one midwife there and they send another one along when you are nearing the end and in walked the very midwife that I had thought that would be nice to have there. It started me laughing and I got that sense in that moment, "Wow God, you really care about this." It was so unimportant; it didn't matter if she was at my birth or not. It made absolutely no difference, but actually he heard what wasn't even a prayer, it was a heart felt desire and actually said, "I want to bless you and I want to give you what you want because you're my child and I love you". In that moment I was so overwhelmed and just started laughing and crying all at the same time.

Emily: So why have you decided to write all of your experiences in a book?

Philippa-Jo: It was a journey for me. I'd never thought I would write a book. At school I only did three exams. I was very ill at school. I had dyslexia. I think all my teachers would be amazed if I told them about it.

Emily: That's definitely an achievement then!

Philippa-Jo: Yeah, exactly. It was a big achievement holding the book that first time. It was an incredible feeling.

I wanted to put something out there. I think it's an important topic. It's certainly something that we all come across; pregnancy and delivery. There isn't anything out there from this perspective really. There's a lovely book that was produced in the 70s, but I just wanted to bring something up to date and to put something out there for women.

Emily: You've got your third child on the way and the book is out on sale, so what's next?

Philippa-Jo: The book's on sale on Amazon and I'm producing a journal to go alongside. It takes the teachings and my experiences from the book and breaks it down for the reader. Sometime in the future I'm hoping to do a soaking CD; background music and inspiring words to be played throughout your pregnancy or during your labour for people to immerse themselves in that love and that presence of Jesus.

Emily: How can people get hold of your book and find out more about you?

Philippa-Jo: I've got a website, pregnancyinhispresence.com, and I've got quite a few articles on there; you can request the first three chapters of both the book and the journal and there are lots of other resources. I've also got a Facebook page, or you can find me on Twitter.