Paul Calvert spoke with Jaz Ampaw-Farr, a past contestant on the TV show The Apprentice. She shared about her traumatic past and how she's overcome it to inspire others in life and in education.

Jaz Ampaw Farr and Paul Calvert

Even when we went into foster care and we were sort of rescued and taken away, that was about eight years old, things were still very difficult.

But all through secondary school I had these people who believed in me and invested in me and it made me want to not let them down. I actually went on in the end to become a teacher because of their input, because I wanted to honour what they did. They showed me what a great adult was. As far as I was concerned the great pinnacle of being a great human was to be a teacher, and to be compassionate and have empathy, and to always hold children with an unconditional positive regard. So that is what I set out to become.

Paul: And teachers changed your life!

Jaz: Completely. They are transformation agents.

Here is the crazy thing. What I do now is actually because I have had a fantastic opportunity to go on the TV show The Apprentice, and get fired in the first week, becoming a failure expert. I remember when it happened I thought I'm just going to hide, fake my own death, and hide away in a desert island, because it is so embarrassing. Every child I have ever taught, every parent I know, and all my friends and family, everyone is going to see that I failed.

But I started to embrace it and felt that failure is like a ladder. Every rung is a failure and you need plenty of rungs to get to the top to succeed.

I started talking about that. I do lots of talks in business, but my favourite keynotes are in education, to remind teachers, I know you are tired, I know it's hard work, I know you are paid a really low wage, but you have the most amazing job in the world, because you are literally transformation agents. You interrupt trajectories by just being there, by the little things you do; by showing up with your whole self every day. You change lives and futures. You should own that hero status and celebrate it.

That also means looking after yourself and not putting everybody else first all the time, as I know teachers also do, because you can't fill from your cup, you need to fill from your saucer, so you need to be overflowing yourself in order to be a civic innovator for others.

Paul: Do you feel there are a lot of people in society and teachers as well, who don't realise their potential and their influence?

Jaz: Yeah this is one of my saddest things, because I lived for years as an adult pretending, hiding, and having imposter syndrome. I felt all the time that I don't deserve, I shouldn't be here, and this is someone else's life. I believed that everyone should have access to kindness and everyone is valued apart from me.

I remember having a thought and thinking, why am I so special that I am the only person on the planet that isn't valuable and everybody else is?

I started to stop using can't, don't, won't, and should. I noticed that in my language I would switch it, so instead of saying "I should be a better mum," or "I should cook more fresh food," or "I should exercise more," I changed it to, "I would like to exercise more," "I would like to cook healthier meals," and even that small shift changed what I could achieve.

But what I see all the time is people living in this story. They tell themselves that it is a story from their past; any trauma however big or small: a relationship breaking up, or a child that you can't connect with, your own child that you have had a problem with, or feeling bullied at some stage, can create a story about yourself. The story you tell about yourself isn't the truth about you, it's a past fact and limits us. It's a limiting thought, language and behaviour.

What it means is we are all walking around, and other people could benefit from our vulnerability and authenticity, but we are too afraid. We are led by fear and you can't grow from fear and shame. It's not a fertile garden.