Catherine Brown looks at the love of God

Catherine Brown

I had the privilege of speaking at a conference in Paris, France recently. Just prior to our first meeting a young Christian told me of a homeless man he had met near to the conference centre that morning. I enquired if the man needed any food, but he said he was fine for the time being. Normally, I would go straight away and meet with the homeless, but on this occasion I did not.

About an hour later we were in the conference meeting place. It was with some amusement that I noted the French I had 'apparently' learned at Secondary School had somehow slipped away into a memory recess that I was not able to access beyond remembering how to say 'thank you', 'hello' and 'goodbye'! Despite this I was thoroughly enjoying trying to sing in French with the worship team and the other believers, even if my pronunciation was a little rusty.

Suddenly the voice of God broke into my thoughts with a strong and irresistible exhortation: "Didn't I tell you to go to the highways and byways and bring the lost to My table?" This is a paraphrase of Jesus' words in Luke chapter 14, "Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame." Verse 21.

Waves of conviction swept over me for being selfish in not sharing God's love with others less fortunate that myself. I felt overwhelmed with a sense of Gospel work unfinished and couldn't believe I had come to worship Jesus without first going out to bring someone else in to meet Him. I turned to my daughter and said, "Honey I'll be back in a few minutes." I left the building without a word to anyone else except for the young man Jean Michel, whom I asked to accompany me as my guide as we set out to find the homeless man.

We wove our way through the mostly Muslim tenement community, smiling warmly at the little children who played in the puddles. After turning down a number of grey, stone corridors we found the precious homeless man perched on a type of roof within the complex. Domation sat in the most horrible of conditions, surrounded by walls splattered with excrement with his few worldly belongings strewn haphazardly around him. I explained how Jesus had spoken to me and told me to come and find him. I invited him to come to our meeting and hear the message of Life. He responded that he was unable to because he was afraid that his belongings would be stolen. His friend, however, said he would attend (which he faithfully did later that day).

He told us how he had been shot at a number of years previously and had taken six bullet wounds to his body. The bullets didn't penetrate his heart yet somehow the man had become "heart-sick". His physical injuries had caused some paralysis to his legs but I got a strong sense that the problem was much deeper than that and he had more or less given up on life. The trauma of his past circumstance had caused him to become almost catatonic both emotionally and physically. I was deeply moved when he told me that his heart was full of pain. My interpreter helped me to share God's love with him and explain that Jesus can heal any and all pain. Having been healed from the effects of violence, rape, abuse and much more, I can testify to the glorious and complete healing power of God (you may like to read more about my personal healing journey in my first book, "The Normal, the Deep and the Crazy").

My own heart missed a beat on his behalf. Whilst I understood his dilemma, I knew that Jesus was asking him to trust, even if it meant losing all to walk with the Master. Sadly, my new friend did not respond to Christ's call. It seemed impossible for him to believe that Jesus could take his pain away. Determined that my 3-inch pink stilletos would not deter me, and despite Domation's protestations, I climbed onto the roof to where he was, bent down and held his hand. I wanted him to know that God was reaching out in love. Jesus isn't put off by dirt and smells. He looks deep inside us and cares passionately about the condition of our hearts.

In a God-moment the awful environment melted away as I shared how much Jesus loved him and prayed for God to heal him. The man began to weep quietly, as tears he had held for the longest time ran down his face and caused streaks in the grime upon his cheeks. Jesus met with him even though He refused to move. Domation told me he would never forget this moment. After this gentle prayer I returned to the conference at which I was the keynote speaker. I think my hosts were relived when I finally re-appeared although God's timing was perfect because the worship team were just finishing their final song when I returned.

Perhaps some of you can identify with feeling 'heart-sick'? Perhaps circumstances or the weight of responsibilities in life have stressed you out, overwhelmed you and made you feel afraid to trust in God. Like Domation, perhaps you are afraid of losing someone or something precious to you and in your anxiety you have temporarily lost sight of the benevolent love of God who works miracles on our behalf simply because He loves us and wants us to have peace in our hearts and minds.

Jesus knew all about our tendency to be anxious and He addressed this one day as He spoke with His close friends. He really wanted them (and us) to get the message that worrying isn't going to solve a thing and also to know how precious we are to God. "And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?" Luke 12:24-26

In the present global uncertainty about world finances and with the credit crunch biting deep into our pockets, this is a time to remind ourselves of God's faithfulness. All He asks of His children is to seek His kingdom first and in doing that we will discover a pearl of great price - He is our treasure and we are His.

The French man I met was so afraid of losing his worldly goods and yet he had so little by many Western standards. Jesus longs for us to look beyond temporal wealth or lack, and instead find our security in His love. Saint John wrote some inspiring words, which say that the perfect love of God drives out fear. There is no fear in God's love and in this we can trust and find security even when everything else is being shaken around us!

Today, I invite you to pray with me:

"Heavenly Father, I let go of all my stress and worries. I choose to trust your love and I make a decision to let you in to the places where I feel afraid or beaten down. I ask you to help me hear your Voice, so that I can experience and know more of your love, your peace and your wisdom in my day-to-day activities. When I lie down at night I ask that you would give me rest and help me to sleep soundly. I thank you for loving me Lord Jesus as your own. Help me to share your love with others in my life. In Jesus' name. Amen."