Bev Murrill comments

Bev Murrill

Holidays! What is it about the thought of holidays that is so totally and overwhelmingly desirable? We spend a large part of our year yearning for our holidays to come around, and the rest of the year lamenting that we've been there and done it and now have to wait another year to get the rest we still feel we need.

The awful thing is that so many people have such a bad time on holidays. Those amazing advertisements that promised a week of wonderful experiences that you've been fantasising about, too often end up as bitter and expensive disappointments. They were inflated in our minds and emotions as a way of resting, the time off that we deserve, the one great thing that will recharge our batteries and make us ready for the everyday life of the rest of our year.

In our minds, a holiday assumes supernatural power to re-energise us, heal our marriages, right wrongs, meet someone special, let our hair down, get happy, get healthy and for the most part, we end up disappointed. In fact, many holidays conclude with just the opposite, and this is often the time that simmering relationship problems burst to the surface, or the weeklong 24/7 party ends up leaving the reveller feeling used, degraded and sick at heart.

The trouble is that we believe the fantasy that using up the balance of our credit card limit on time out will answer all our needs, and then, when we realise that it didn't, not only do we have the frustration and angst of disillusioned expectations, we also have a big bill that we spend the rest of the year paying off... only to do it again the following year, if we haven't got the message by then.

Oh, I can hear the shouting from here! We're exhausted from a long period of stress and work tension; we need a break and we need it now. Sure, but we have all found by now that taking a holiday isn't the sure fire cure for the restoration of energy, motivation and enthusiasm.

A friend of mine talks about the biblical concept of rest. There were all sorts of rest periods built into the Jewish calendar year but rather than being a time to get over all the hard work they'd been doing, they were intended to be a time of restoration, a spring board to get into work with a greater amount of energy and sense of purpose.

Think about it; what gives you energy. Is it being with people? Going to the gym or for a long walk? Are you the mountain climbing type or would you rather read a book or paint a picture? Factored into all of us is a capacity for refreshment that is over and above just stopping work to go somewhere else for a week or two. Some people can get out into the garden for an afternoon and come in to find the weight of the world has lifted from their shoulders. Others get the same kick from making a quilt or writing a poem...or maybe you just need some peace and quiet for a few hours or a few days; a time when you don't overeat or drink too much, but use it to think about who you are and what you want out of life.

I'm not advocating never having a break; the problem is when we pin all our hopes on the magic word 'holiday' thinking it will cure all our woes, only to find that it didn't supply what we needed. The kids still fought and so did you, the activities only added to the 'to do' list and the happy family pictures didn't tell the full story of that week.

Don't go looking to a few weeks in 52 to make the difference. Take the hours and days that you have available right now and spend them more thoughtfully. Do some things you love to do, learn something new that will make your brain flex its muscles in a different way. Take a hike, talk to God, have a picnic and fly a kite or go and have a coffee in a coffee shop by yourself with that book you've been wanting to read instead of with the friend whose always got another set of issues. Find ways to rest and play in the time you have now, rather than trying to save it all up for the perfect break. Life is too short to live manically. Take the time now to enjoy it. You might be low on cash right now, don't let that stop you. Resting and enjoying yourself at the same time costs less than you think, you just have to bestir yourself to do it.

Do yourself a favour - take the time to remember what you really like to do and do that. If you factor enjoyment and rest into your lifestyle, holidays will take their place in the natural rhythm of your life, losing their frantic adrenalin laced determination to become just what you need to re-energise for the season ahead.