Tom Brock opens his heart

Tom Brock

Have you ever had the fear that you would be left out? I know I have! Dealing with rejection is a bummer. I think it causes a mutation in our personalities. I watch it happen on all levels of life. You can see it in children when they feel insecure in a new or strange environment. We understand that and we make allowance for them and the situation; but what about us? How do we deal with that feeling that makes us think that we are on the outside looking in and there doesn't seem to be an open door for us to pass through? When that happens, we make judgments that are skewed and we become defensive as that shield of protection rises up. We no longer see things as they are, but we see through that ugly spy glass called rejection. It all looks different through that tunnel!

Think about this scenario. You're at a meeting where nobody reaches out to you to involve you in the conversations that are taking place. The first thing we get hit with is, 'they all know each other and have their relationships set, they don't have any need or room for me'. Then the second thought comes, 'what's with the people? What a clique; how snobby can they be?' Then the door is open for this one, 'I heard that they were a good group, well I'll tell you right now these people are a bunch of jerks I'm never coming back here for sure'. But this all changes in a moment when someone comes up and engages with us and welcomes us in to the conversation or introduces us to others around us. As people take interest in us that shield comes down and our hearts become much more approachable and we view the situation in a whole new light.

I hate that feeling of being on the outside looking in. I'm not good at being rejected; it really effects me big time. Suzie and I have the chance to deal with this each week. As we stand before churches or conferences we wonder, 'What the heck are these people thinking about us'? How will I compare to the last speaker; will this teaching make sense to them? And the one that really hangs over me is this, 'Will the Holy Spirit show up'? I know I have little to offer and if He doesn't show Himself life is going to suck big time over the next hour or so. It's a fight to overcome the battle that seems to go on, what seems to be forever plus a day, but in reality it's about two minutes and then the Spirit shows Himself and all is well. Till after the service, then you wait for the affirmation, or you hope for it, 'That was so good, man that really touched me,' 'wow the Lord is really speaking through you, you should right a book on that,' 'do you have that on CD'. If the encouragement comes, you stand with head lifted high and chest out and you know that all is well in the world and you know that God has made a wise choice in choosing you to represent Him to this group of needy people. Of course you are careful to direct all accolades to the Lord, but you're pretty stoked on what you are hearing and you have to acknowledge that He has chosen to use you.

It's funny to me how we are and how we are so affected by this whole thing. It doesn't matter how many people give you a positive reinforcement, it only takes one person coming up and saying something that isn't a song of praise to bring you down. It doesn't have to be a put down; it only has to be a suggestion that it wasn't the best or could be improved on. Things like, 'I heard that teaching before, Bill Johnson really does a great job with it', or 'So you've read Frances' book', or, 'The last meeting I was in the Lord was healing everyone that came forward why do you think that doesn't happen with your ministry?' 'Have you ever heard of John Wimber, man he really could bring it'? Now you feel like chopped liver and you're looking for the door. The only affirmation you have gotten as been, 'that is one of my favourite scriptures'. Again this really affects how you interact with others and the Lord. It keeps you from giving yourself to meet the needs that are around you and the body is weakened and people don't get to see what the Lord has to offer.

This last Sunday we got to attend church as 'members' of the body. That's a big deal to us, as most of the time we work on the Sunday and we are the ones speaking so we are 'on'; so when we get to go to our gathering it's a treat for us. We had brought some friends with us who are praying about direction in their lives and as the body began to interact with them I saw the Holy Spirit move on them and lift fear and insecurity off them. They were able to lay aside any fear of rejection and were free to hear what the Lord could be speaking to them. As we left they had smiles on their faces and knew if they did wind up coming out this way they had found a place where they could fellowship where they could be loved and accepted. Super cool! On the other hand I dealt with an issue that seems to plague me almost every time I go to church. There is this one guy who everyone loves and is supposed to be a really great guy, but he won't give me the time of day. He doesn't do anything wrong or negative he just doesn't talk to me - ever. It kills me and I fight with what the heck is wrong with me, what is he feeling from me that he won't take a minute to converse with me? Do I have a demon? So I spend at least 15 minutes evaluating things every Sunday we are there. The feeling always passes, but it is a war with rejection that I really don't like to deal with. Its funny, as others hug us and say how blessed they are to see us, how they have been praying for us, and let's set a time for coffee; but that other situation lets the air out of the balloon.

The teaching on Sunday was from Galatians 2:10 and the key word was 'remember the poor'. This isn't just the poor in our economy; put the poor over all areas of life. I think what I'm trying to share with you would fall into this category. Remember the poor who are around you. We are all in need and we need to learn to give to those who we come in contact with and look beyond our own need and let the word of the Lord rule over our emotions and bring our thoughts in line with His word to give to those who are in need.

The trick of the enemy would be to isolate us and cause us to feel we have nothing to give and to become withdrawn and isolated, so those who have needs won't get what the Lord has prepared for them through meeting and interaction with you. I know that's hard to handle, but you bring a unique element to the table and we need what you have to be a complete body. If we withdraw the body suffers. If we invest everyone benefits.

So maybe we should come expecting to be used and ready to invest and overcome our fears and insecurities and see who we can bring life too. I'm going to try to do better not to listen to the lie and choose to believe that I am of value to those the Lord has brought into my life. I need to see I am there to give away from myself and show the blessings that the Lord has given me; to bless the poor in anyway that I can....even to the guy who doesn't seem to like me and won't talk to me!

Let's not forget the poor; let's give all we can, whenever we can.