The remarkable true life story of Peter Newman (Part 17)

She looked at the notes. "Nothing here, Mr Newman," she said.

God, what are you doing? I'm supposed to have a pre-med. Everybody has a pre-med. Don't you know, God, I'm supposed to be sedated? I, of course, meant "high", I didn't like to tell God that.

I lay in the waiting room outside the theatre and it was cold. The central heating had failed. Everybody full of apologies. More blankets, please. As the lady doctor took my details, she turned to the nurse and said, "Has he had his pre-med?"
"No," said the nurse. "It's not on his notes."

Immediately the doctor took off to see the surgeon. How relieved I was that action was being taken. The doctor returned, looked at me and said, "I'm sorry; there's been a slight mistake. You can have the pre-med, but it won't have time to work because the surgeons are ready for you now."

"Let's go," I heard myself say.

Wide awake, I was wheeled in. I think I counted five figures all masked up. As soon as they had lifted me to the table they began to stick things on me and in me. I really began to believe that not only were they going to deny me my longed-for drug, they were also going to deprive me of my right to be put to sleep while they operated! Wrong again, I'm glad to say.

"What's this pain? God, where am I? What's happening?" I tried to move but was stopped by pain. Somebody was putting another needle in my stomach! Can one find God in pain? For the first time in my life I was about to find out. In my walk with God I had come to know many kinds of pain; the pain of guilt, loneliness and rejection, but physical pain I had not yet encountered. When praying for the sick I had often felt that to identify with their suffering it would help if I knew physical pain. Well, if that was to be a qualification for praying for the sick, I had now qualified.

I slowly came round from the anaesthetic and became aware of my surroundings: pipes, people and...pain. My first anxious question was, "How is Jonathan?" Joy and anxiety were bound together. I had had a kidney removed. It had actually happened: that was joy. But had the transplant worked? Was my kidney active in Jonathan? When I arrived home, leaving Barbara and Jonathan behind in the hospital, I was really ill. I was nearly a stone lighter, and I had only weighed ten stone when I went in. The pain and the weakness had taken their toll, together with other problems that I had to face which were far worse, and more painful.

One serious problem was that I thought that death was stalking me, and twice I felt my spirit leaving my body. I would have willingly gone, except that there was something wrong. I believe that when my eternal spirit has to leave this tabernacle, then angels will escort me to the presence of God, but my experience at that time was different. All I could see in my mind's eye were demons fighting to drag me away, taunting me to curse God and die. They reasoned with me that not only had my friends forsaken me in my darkest hour, but so had God. I always tell people that when the father of lies tells you that God has left you, then it means that God is near at hand. If God has truly gone, the devil will leave you alone.

There came a morning when all strength had gone and I just could not summon up the will to hang on any longer. Then suddenly there was light and power in that bedroom, and there was my own sister, Daphne, speaking in tongues and confessing the blood of Jesus. There is nothing that will cause the demon power to back off more than the presence of one of God's children, full of faith and the Holy Spirit.

Daphne had arrived at our home in 1959 desperate and defeated, sustained by tranquillizers, deceived by spirits, having been enticed into spiritism, sanctioned by man but forbidden by God. Then the Great Shepherd saw her need and stretched out His hand to set her free.

From that time on I began to mend and soon got back to fighting weight. At the time of writing this it is six months since the transplant, and Jonathan continues to get better. Barbara has found it strange, not having to spend so much time nursing him, and we have really appreciated our new freedom.

Barbara has had to bear the brunt of this affliction in our family, and to have the two of us in the operating theatre at the same time was a great trial to her faith. Once again God has proved faithful in giving me a wife who has stood firm even in the darkest times.