Isaiah 22:22, Psalm 139:13-16, John 10:10, Romans 8:28, Jeremiah 29:11

Paula Hocking

By the time you are 14 in our culture there will be pressure on you to know what you want to do when you leave education. You will already be making choices in GCSE's and then in 6th form that you are told will shape your future. There is so much choice, so many different courses and so many options it can be mind blowing. Some will know "what I want to be when I grow up" but there will be many who don't know and the amount of choice could add to the confusion.

I have met many conscientious young Christians who get just as confused in the system because mixed with all the choices, they also have the knowledge of the truth that God has a purpose and plan for them and that they have a destiny, which causes them to frequently question "am I on the right path".

I hope my little story exposes bits of truth to help you have the confidence to trust in God's perfect timing for your life.

When my daughter was preparing for University, I spent all summer crying. It wasn't just because she was leaving and I'd miss her, it was because I had spent my last 18 years serving her, running around after her, teaching her, discipling her, laying down my life to give her the best chance to find hers in Christ. So here I was, at the beginning of the end of the something that had consumed me and gave me purpose and meaning.... All I could see was a desert and nothing but the potential empty space. I had made a decision when my children were young to not work; I felt this was God's best provision for them because they had been through various traumatic experiences, which affected their security. I remember being asked many times "what do you do?" and I learned that people find their identity in what they do and not who they are. I realized that people didn't always build relationships out of their inner man but more often from how they performed in their roles and how their positions and roles gave them status and I had no role so therefore no status and what felt like no apparent value. I had to dig deeper into getting my security from just being God's daughter and not be intimidated by what the world values as life. I died into motherhood by laying my own ambitions down and even through the tears I knew I wouldn't have wanted to do it any other way.

My enjoyment of dance was my gift from God that became my "me" time... I went to a class once a week and got involved with worship dance in the Christian Community. It was during a rehearsal of The Creation Fashion show at a Cross Rhythms Festival when God reminded me that when I was a little girl I would spend hours in my bedroom making up dances; structuring them in my mind with imaginary casts and recording them on paper, choosing music etc.. exactly what I was doing as I was Choreographing this show. Only God knew how I had played in my room when I was young, I had never told anyone!

Over the years of bringing up the children I carried on serving God with the gift of dance, all voluntary and often costly in terms of time and comfort. This week I have been offered a place on a MA in Choreography course. I have no BA but plenty of experience and a God who knows the dreams He has placed in me and at just the right time in my life when the view could look barren He opened a door. "The doors God opens no man can close"; Isaiah 22:22.

I hope my story encourages you as you are faithful and responsible with the small things, to not be afraid to let go of some things in order to do the right thing, because He who designed you; He who knows your heart; He who created you with your unique DNA; He who knew you before you were born (Psalm 139:13-16) is working behind the scenes to bring about His plan to draw you into the abundant life He promises. (John 10:10)

It makes sense to me that God who created us knows exactly how He can work with us here on Earth to become the best influence we can for Him. In dance terminology - God is an improviser! I believe He works with us, moving as we move, realigning as we make choices, with every intention of drawing us into Him and ultimately working all things together for our good. (Romans 8:28)

There is a spiritual strategy against the children of God finding out who we are created to be because when we fully understand that God is our Dad and He has the best in mind for us then we would more confidently take our place in our culture and really be the head and not the tail.

I thank God that He never gives up because He loves us and knows the plans He has for us (Jeremiah 29:11), and I pray that by trusting His leading we will come into the freedom of enjoying who we are and be illuminated signs to a generation who are confused by so much opportunity.